About Us

Burt Crinklethorn 


Burt Crinklethorn is an entrepreneur, activist, and historian originally from Hartford, VT. A former executive for Enron, Burt is devoted to preserving our nation's values. Through his philanthropic efforts, he is committed to building a wall on the US/Mexico border. His hobbies include skateboarding and the metaverse. 

Linda Crinklethorn 


Linda Crinklethorn is the second wife of Burt Crinklethorn. She has attended such museums as MOMA, the Smithsonian, and Mark Twain's house. Linda completed one semester at Manchester Community College and currently resides in the Buckland Hills Mall.

Alex Traynor


Alex Traynor is a comedian born and raised in the Greater Hartford area. He is a graduate of Emerson College and has performed at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatres in NYC and LA. Currently, he makes dumb videos for the Internet. Check out his website and youtube channel. Follow him on instagram, tiktok, and twitter.

Also, If this whole thing is not legal - he had nothing to do with this. This was all a complex joke by someone else using deepfakes.

Barack Hussein Obama


Barack Obama is an American politician who served as the 44th president of the United States from 2009 to 2017. A member of the Democratic Party, Obama was the first African-American president of the United States. He previously served as a U.S. senator from Illinois from 2005 to 2008 and as an Illinois state senator from 1997 to 2004. He is proud to be serving as a consultant for AMFPDB. It Is an honor of a lifetime.

Grandpa Crinklethorn

Social Media Manager

Grandpa Crinkleton is a scientist/ inventor from Miami, FL. He is best known for his research into wormholes. His hobbies include QAnon and Tennis. He is unrelated to Burt & Linda. He is not a grandfather - that is his actual first name.

Shane Helmick


Shane Helmick is a portent of doom and all around weirdo from Windsor Locks, CT. He has two dogs and a lighthouse calendar. His hobbies Include BDSM and cannoli but never cannoli-BDSM. Check out his Instagram!

Richard Armstead

Former Narrator

Richard Armstead affectionately known as "Big Rich" was the narrator for this tour before Alex very selfishlessy replaced him with himself. He's still in the tour but a lot less. He currently runs the Solid Footing program (for Liquid Courage ) Sketch initiative designed for students to perform Sketches at UCB's Monthly Liquid Courage Show. Along with Katey Healy-Wurzburg and Charlie Todd, Richard became part of Hot Cheese Fiesta, the first Wildcard team to win the annual 3 on 3 tournament at UCB.



Banksy is a pseudonymous England-based street artist, political activist and film director whose real name and identity remain unconfirmed and the subject of speculation. Active since the 1990s, his satirical street art and subversive epigrams combine dark humour with graffiti executed in a distinctive stenciling technique. His works of political and social commentary have appeared on streets, walls and bridges throughout the world.

Board of Directors: Lauren Brickman, John Sartori, Max Brand, Marshall Stratton, Deepfake Hillary Clinton, Jason Kaye, Nicole Conlan, Tom Who, Sam Horwitz, Kevin Murphy, Doris Brown, Jesse Van Den Bergh, Dejen Tesfa, and Ryan Farrell.