Frequently Asked Questions
Do you offer guided tours?
Guided tours with our interpreters are available upon request. Visitors will be able to ask questions of our staff and for an added fee - be taken on a mini-van safari through the city to spot boxes not on the main tour.
Should I remove the garbage inside the boxes?
NO! The museum is a living history museum and the garbage is a crucial part of that history. That trash has been there for possibly years and requires ongoing studies by scientists.
Are there other museums in the area?
Yes. But they aren't as good. Some visitors may find them extremely boring - we do not recommend them.
How do I become a member?
Meet us in the atrium of the Hartford Civic Center at the exact moment of the autumnal equinox. We'll be the ones in robes. We will carve the Hartford Whalers logo into your flesh and then cover you in nutmeg. Bring a money order for $50. It must be a money order.
Can I touch the boxes?
Yes, but remember to not damage them. Also, don't do any weird stuff. You know what? Go for it. Just clean up after yourself.
Do you have a permanent location besides the walking tour?
We are currently in negotiations with Alex's dad to let us set up one in his garage. He seems like a firm no. But he let him go to film school so he can probably be talked into It.
Do you offer educational programs?
Yes we do! We have hosted thousands of field trips in the past. The kids don't really get it.
What experts did you consult in the creation of the museum?
Our research team includes hundreds of historians who extensively consulted the online encyclopedia, Wikipedia. Additionally, we have consulted with former US President, Barack Obama.
What can I do if I see the stickers being removed from the museum?
Call Hartford Police. If the stickers are removed - that is VANDALISM. The museum is legally designated as a National Park by the U.S. Department of the Interior. Violators will be subject to prison time. See something say something.
Does Hartford Have It?
It does now!
What technology is used In the museum?
We use a state-of-the-art, innovative technology called QR codes. We're not quite sure how they work but our Science consultant, Dr. Anthony Fauci, assures us they work.
Can I donate to the museum?
We accept donations via the word of mouth. Tag us on insta in your box selfies @hartfordboxmuseum. Try not to make them too promiscuous.
Is this a joke?
A really, really complicated one. That spiraled way out of control. To the point it became not a joke. And an actual thing. There's really a walking tour - with 25 minutes of audio. And this website is really legit, right?